Northern Alberta Cricket Association (NACA) has 8 teams and play two different format of the game (40 over and T20). NACA is a non-profit body and certified amateur sports organization by Alberta. Mission of the body is to promote and develop interest in the sport (Cricket) at all planes. The organization has 180 members.
The Calgary Gators took down the Fort McMurray Monarchs by 32-21 score, ending the Monarchs 8-0 lead coming in to the finals and back-to-back AFL championships. Gators become the AFL for the 3rd time. They won their first title in 2013 against St. Alberta Stars.
Not something you think about when you are in traffic waiting or the light to turn green. Is it something you become once you look in your mirror and see blue and red lights? Or the word you choose when you have been given a warning. For me, I tend to be a lot more colourful when I get pulled over, only to have that inner voice tell you to be calm. Speeding, running stop signs or generally being a time bandit will relieve you of some of your hard earned wad. To the general public, that is to say everyone, of course, when the day comes (and it will), Johnny Alpha Male will spring out his chest, adjust his belt, push up his ray bans and slowly, but surely utter those three dreaded words. Adjectives you have been describing to yourself have now moved into the Noun phase. The time it took you to go from, I’m in a hurry has been replaced by, you muttering to yourself. “Sure Officer, take your sweet ass time, I’ve got all day”.
Once you have gladly thanked the 5-0, you think to yourself, now do I pull away slowly, or spray gravel all over the side of the “To Protect and serve” decal. Of course you’re mad, upset, your day is ruined. But is it. Well, as long as you were polite, calm, well-mannered and apologetic, you might just get a break once you get your day in court. Unless you just decide to forget all about it. Either way it’s up to you. Frankly I don’t care what you do. This is what I was thinking when were at the Slayer concert last night, well just the last part. I don’t care who you are, what you do, how much you drink, smoke, or inhale. It’s your life, how you deal with conflict is all about how you perceive foe.
When four of Fort McMurray’s finest sautéed into the area, game faces set to stern, I thought to myself, let’s see how the crowd reacts? To cut a long story short, mainly because I don’t have one, nothing happened and they left. That was it, no arrests, no pepper spray nothing. So I presume they went back to Timmie’s and waited for their radios to crackle.
So, with that let’s talk about why we came here in the first place. It wasn’t the weather, the Sun had been in a disagreeable mood all day and decided to hide behind the rainclouds. When it comes to thrashmetal, no one seems to care, I’m sure the sound engineers had their work cut out for them, but the long haired two finger waving assembly could like me, not care less. They wanted noise, vocals you cannot understand and booze. This is not something you find at a Ken and Dolly redeux. I have to say when you are standing in the pit with 2000+ screaming wet fans at your side, you wonder how long it will be before you need to see an Otolaryngologist. Funny thing is you don’t care. They just want Loud, louder. So loud your Kidneys start to fail.
Well we got our 3 minutes of fame, ok we got to stand in a place where you don’t turn into apple sauce and take some pictures of four 50 something dudes doing what their parents had told them not too. It was awesome.
Obnoxious, Yes. Angry Yes. Gentle, No. Insert your own Adjective Here.
If music be the food of Love, just turn it up to 450 decibels, then play on.
So, what you have here Is an event where those who didn't make it on to the Fast and furious set, made their own up and decided to spend oodles of cash souping up generic brands from the sublime to the ridiculous. OK! So your 19 and you want to a "ludicrous speed button" on your dash board. If you’re lucky enough to have the kind of pesos to buy one already made especially for you, i.e.; Lamborghini or Ferrari then you are set. If you are not amoungst the coveted 1%'rs, you do the next best thing. Go on Kijiji, buy an old Honda Civic and beg, borrow or steel the $100,000 you need to make it look somewhat decent. Most of the guys there were doing their best to have their "look at me moment", but the reality is. It’s all a bit faff. Maybe I'm too old, but I can remember the time I souped up my 1972 Ford Cortina GT, only to have it blow up in my face one to many times. After replacing three transmissions and one too many clutches and starter motors, The game for me was over. You try telling these kids that though, this is their passion. So it's a bit pointless telling them that what they are doing is a bit silly. I don't have too. The parent in them in ohhh 20 years will be doing all the talking. Dad's just don't get it. Yes well do actually! we all did it, when we were your age in fact. Thing is, we just grew up. Just because Paul Walker (Rest in Peace) did it, that doesn't mean that was the beginning. This started many many years before that. So I may put the boy racers down a bit, but I am allowed. I was one.
So, changing to 2nd gear. Speaking to the owner of a Lamborghini, which incidentally he looked like he was about 25. So either he has rich parents or sold a .COM business when he was 12. It doesn't matter, jealously is not in my character. I was curious as to why he told me he always drives the speed limit. I'm not sure if he was being honest or careful. Thing is, if you are buying a Lamborghini and only want to drive the speed limit! What’s the point, you may as well just get a "Car to Go" membership.
Personally I think a little bullshit fell out of his mouth. But that's OK. It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters here were the kids, their toys and what they achieved. It’s really something to be proud of. So, after raking you all over the coals, just know that I was there once and I know the feeling. Just remember to take it easy and drive the speed Limit, just Like Mr Lambo............
Heath Cox Editor Intouch.NEWS
Sitting in front of the TV waiting for the latest gossip on wives and Kardashians, you’re wondering what to eat. The salad you had was a good effort, as you are trying to maintain that figure you had back in high school. However, soon the hunger pains are too much to bear and the Oreo’s come calling. Every one you have you’re telling yourself, I will walk it off tomorrow. Unfortunately you forget about last night’s binge and the office Gossip continues like bad episodes of Simon and Simon. The one thing that never stray’s from your mind are your kids and what they are up too. If you can’t hear them they are probably up to no good. After all, when your 17 the last place you want to be is anywhere but home. Sometimes the PlayStation is not enough to keep you from straying. Getting out of the house is nothing new, we all did it. “Be home by 9”.
How many times did you hear “can I stay till 10”. And so the retorts bounce off walls like no one is listening. He is not going to be home by 9, he is going to spend as much time as possible balancing between right and wrong. Knowing full well the hammer will fall once he crosses the portico. Fear not however, for one weekend at least, everyone knows where your kids are. It’s the “Calgary Comic and Expo”.
They are down at the stampede grounds in full Halo gear. Looking like one of his Ice-station characters, he has become drenched in blood soaked t-shirts, autographs and comic books. Things are good in the world. I was surprised to see how many people were at this event. For a moment I thought the stampede had begun early. Actually, it was just your kids playing the part of Han Solo, parents were getting in on the action too. Some costumes look like they were made on the drive to the grounds. Others appeared to have taken months to prepare. Every conceivable soldier and action hero was on show this weekend. Some of the more engaged decided on a more deep thought approach. Such as the zombie murdering sesame street gang, or a Samurai storm trooper. This imagination is the reason why we are here. There is no limit to what you can become. Someone even dressed up as a tree. As I have a faint recollection of a walking tree in some fantasy show some 10 years ago, I can only assume this one was one of the same. I spent many hours wondering the stands, keeping an eye out for the next Darth Vader. Not for a minute was I getting to the point of boredom. Everyone should take the time to come down and see what people can do.
Even Marilyn Monroe made a guest appearance. As for you parents. Dressing up as “Jason” is no excuse, your son is home waiting for supper.
How do you sum up the numbers and come up with the the correct answer, when it comes to mans favorite pastime. Well, for some of us it does include ball bearings. Not the kind you press into a shotgun casing, but ones used in a wheel hub assembly or a universal joint. Our love of cars continues, with an all out ensemble of fenders from Ford's to Ferrari's.
OK! so the vast majority now all seem to look the same, from plastic dashboards to headlights, car companies now seem to swap parts with each other and make it seem new and improved. Gone are the days, when you had to push a button to make it work. It's all storks and sticks. Men love to push and turn buttons. Have you ever seen anything more sexier than a dashboard on a series one E type. Exactly! ... So we have a few differences from last year, but on the whole nothing has changed. We see the same cute girls splashing out quip's about perfect weight distribution and turbo lag reduction. The reality is, they couldn't explain what torque is anymore than I could, or you could for that matter. Maybe It just sounds better coming from a size two "super" model. I was somewhat impressed with the Ford driving simulator. It was a bit over the top and unnecessary, but the kids enjoyed being Tom Petty for 5 minutes.
Everything here seems to trundle along like we're all stuck in a playground zone. Every Acura looks the same as every other Acura. Except maybe some have a fatter ass than others. Things were becoming as interesting as a rented apartment, that was until we got to the Aston Martin - Bentley arena. There is something about sitting in one of these that makes you feel uberly important. Yes I have leather seats in my car, but the seats in a Bentley!!! You have just entered a world where few will have the pleasure of the real ultimate driving machine.
It's like sitting in a channel handbag! The interior is a place that transforms you and instantly turns you into a one percenter. It's like putting on a Tom Ford. You feel smarter, you look smarter, suddenly everyone is looking at you. It's the same with the Aston. Once inside, clutching that thick carbon laced steering wheel, your whispered off to a place of grandeur. After many thank you's and hand shaking, we took ourselves to, well. What else, of course. The house of Mr Balboni's home turf. Lamborghini. Yes they were big and brash, but I have to be honest, the Lamborghini's that I grew up with had no windows, just cat flaps with a stick shift. These were my pin up's. I somehow can't see myself putting up an Aventador on my wall. Maybe I'm well past the sell by date on wall posters, but the lambo's of today seem to have lost that bedroom image. I know they cost more than most second homes and yes they still have those silly doors, but I look back at the Aston and I'm sold every time. When the brand manager of Rolls Royce invited us in. We clocked eyes on the Phantom and thought, no; there is no way we will ever get this close. Well, as it happens, we did. Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water, as they say, this 20 foot monster steps in.
Lord in heaven, as a motor car this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Mercedes and Audi. You may as well pack up your suitcase right now and head back to fatherland. OK, so BMW took hold of Britain's most prized possession and welded together the strongest aluminum body in the automotive world, thanks for that at the very least. After that the Brits took over and did what they do best. Apart from drinking lots of tea and having to find new Careers since Maggy closed down all the pits. The Brits still have the talent to put together, what is simply the finest car money can buy. Options are endless. So, If you have deep pockets, this is where you stop looking and place your order. So to are the Ferrari's. I have to be honest here too, the Ferrari's of today do look amazing, but they seem to have lost that 60's sex appeal. Think about it. There is nothing sexier than a testarossa or a P4/5. I'm not talking about the square place mat you find in Miami vice, I'm dating back to the world when designers used Marilyn Monroe as inspiration, not a Mach 2 jet fighter. The worlds designers now have moved on to aerospace technology and materials from Mars. It's seems that that molds used to make the DB5 are now extinct. While I am happy to see companies like Eagle have a bash. It saddens me that the rest of the world doesn't share the same opinion. The mood now is cup holders and hockey bags. You just know when your best friend gets married and his wife punches out a couple of kids, the minivan is where your heading. What a shame that is! We still have lots of somewhat attractive looking cars out there, but Dodge thought, I know, let's take away his manhood and offer up something so sad, it makes you feel you had a level 10 lobotomy. Let me put it this way, when I was 9. We had 6 in our family, we got by with a rover P5. "And we had a dog". We went all over Europe. Yes we also had cup holders.
I guess we have one saving grace. I once saw a 12 year old putting her soccer shoes into the back of a drop dead sexy black continental GT. I agree not everyone can afford one which is a shame but we should have more options available to us.
So, moving on. There we were, looking at what I call Gods creation. The absolute best in engineering to date. If allowed we should have been on hands and knees, as we are certainly not worthy of the P1. Some of the worlds best brains got together and produced the finest wine and carbon fiber soufflé man has ever made. So why did this 12 year old beside me waffle on about the prancing horse and how much better they are. Why, well cause he is 12 and knows only two things, how to play call of duty at home and how to tell people at school how good he is at call of duty. Oh the joys of having teenagers! They know everything. So. People of Fiat, Acura and Honda. When you next decide to design a car, think of Dita Von Tess, not a dinner plate. I know which one can go through the air faster, but I know what I would rather look at.
Heath Cox. Editor intouch.NEWS
Everyone has seen the funny memes on the inter world web, you know, pictures of the silly mistakes people made. Filling coke cans in Pepsi machines, the quip at the bottom, you had one job. Well the application forms for just about any job doesn't say that anywhere. Why not, it should, as for most of us have one job; in a roundabout speaking sort of (not really) way. If you're a policeman you send people to jail for robbing old ladies of their pension fund. If you're a captain of a ship, you make sure that when you leave port, you make it to the other end, hopefully with the same number of people on board. If you’re a pilot, all you have to do in your career is learn simple mathematics, by that I mean the number of take offs you do in life should equal the number of landings. Tally them up all together at the end of the week and the number should be the same. From Tom Jones to Michael Bolton to Janet Jackson, their one job is to entertain. Though Mr. Bolton, please next time, remember the lyrics. The anthem of your home country should be tattooed on your medial temporal lobe. So next time, when you're given one job, try to remember it.
I think the only people that have multitasked job status are mothers. I'm not going to run off a paragraph in detail, just ask one.
So all that brings us to the Harlem Globe Trotters. They applied, went through the try outs, got accepted. Now they have returned to our great city also with only one job.
Let me tell you. These guys don't do it well; they do it very, very well. They took on the audience and wowed them all. I looked up through the stands (well seats) and all I saw were smiling faces. Somewhere during the evening there was a basketball game, though I may have missed it. I waited years to see the Harlem Globe Trotters, and I am so glad I got the opportunity to see them live and through a lens. Not only did they bring on the little kids to shoot hoops, but they also gave kind words of encouragement as they grow up in life.
90 years they have been doing this. I can just only imagine what the 100 year spectacle will be. If given the chance and they come to Calgary again, I would be honoured to watch them, for they belong here, they belong everywhere. They have a message of love, laughter and dreams. They also remember; they have one job, this they can never fail at.
We all thank you for coming back to Calgary, for we are truly blessed. Big shout out to Ruby Ramirez, for the privilege of allowing us into your world. Also, we would like to thank the security, for no one seems to ever give them a mention. Also would like to thank the All Stars. For it seemed no one was cheering for you. But without you, the Boys and girls of Harlem would have no one to play against.
You are all in inspiration to us all.
Heath Cox. Editor. Intouch.news
The time, where you cozy up upon your lazy boy, grab the switchy box and settle into a night loitering between and Netflix, Crackle and You-tube. As you ditched your cable, the up and down buttons on your remote have become pretty much obsolete. Now you’re fondling genre’s like it’s 1979.
As of this moment, people across this province are calculating their losses and uploading Skidoos on Kijiji.
So were on a downturn, as you still have enough for Spotify and a parking spot. You are one of the lucky ones so far. Not to worry, we have all seen this before, so when the Economy tanks, which it has, there is only one way for it to go now. So be patient. Once all the big guns have let everyone go, they will be bringing them back and we all will bask in wakesetters again.
So Google just sent you a little note telling you to put your slippers away, grab your trilby and head on over to Heritage park for the Pastry Chef Showcase 2016. Time to put your culinary gear into 1st and prep your palette with the finest breads and pastries’ on offer.
Some of Canada’s best will be on the culinary dance floor, doing the tango with butter knives and cookie slicers to create art in real life. This is what dreams are made of. The wine and cheese displays were plentiful, so tuck in, but leave room for the creations coming to life before you.
To Start with we have the Ranchman’s club served up a delicate Apple caramel tower, a sautéed apple with an orange mascarpone filling, garnished with an apple mousse and a toffee Gelee spoon.
The second dish on the list was an upside down pineapple cake drizzled in olive oil, coupled with a honey yogurt mousse and served with Rosemary guava gelato. It was delicious.
Of course there had to be a winner. This was created by Melissa Burt, Rebbekka Lenz, Elynne Poisson and Peter Nowicki. Together they enveloped the Mayor Lemon vanilla bean mousse, a basil sponge on top of Streusel cookie.
Hotel arts offered up a milk chocolate mousse, which was to die for. As for the number of plates 300 was not enough for the 45 minute event.
The winners enjoyed a $1500 win to share amongst themselves.
All this for the benefit for our friends with developmental disabilities. Thank you L’Arche Calgary, for putting together this wonderful event. I thought I was quite happy with my slippers and 46 flat screen. Next time, I will bring friends. Thank you to Heritage Park for the venue and a big thank you to all the sponsors. In the middle of this downturn, it’s nice to see sponsorships still willing to lend an offer of support.
Heath Cox Editor InTouch.NEWS
If they put out a ballot at the entrance with 2 boxes, one marked "too loud!", the other, "louder please!". I would be in the minority. It was a heavy rock concert after all, so what was I doing there? A middle aged wrinkled face who preferred a chilled glass and Tony Bennett in the backdrop. Well we invited ourselves so it would be impolite not to go. I have to be honest it was a pretty good event. When I was 19 I got a little beer paying job working at the saddledome. I worked for some obscure little unknown security firm. That itself wasn't interesting, but the job of working in the pit and backstage has it's own merits. Well free concerts really. Rod Stewart, glass tiger, ACDC. Iron Maiden, Whitesnake, Def Leopard and well, yes. Kenny Rogers. These were just a few. Oddly enough, no one rushed the stage when Kenny walked on.
My good friend at the time was working back stage, checking to make sure everyone had the proper accreditation. If your the lead singer however, you are exempt from wearing the coveted pass. Least, those of platinum Blonde thought so. My trusted friend did what he was told to do and the lead was promptly thrown out on his ear and that was the end of that. Of course 20 minutes roll by and he notices people running around like headless chickens. It wasn't until someone asked him, "have you seen Mark?". "Who????" Well the lead singer was pounding on the exit door to no avail. That was until he said " what? this guy!". Opening the door. He was bemused and my friend received many shoutings. He was after all, doing what $7 an hour got you back then. The whole show was about to come crashing down. All because he thought he was better than everyone else. So. Lead singers of the world. Wear your badges!
If you want peace and quiet, go find some little home grown Italian diner and enjoy the ambience. If you want to ruin your kidneys. Go to the ballroom at Macewan Hall on the university grounds. Stand by the huge speakers and wait for the lyrics.
Big hair was back. Guitars wailed out tunes, the leads of both bands were howling at the moon, probably loud enough to wake up Scott Kelly. The fans were getting more and more jumpy upy. Then as the intermission ran its course, those lucky enough to sneak a bit of Ganga through security were enjoying their "puff puff pass" on the patio. After all. It's a rock concert. The mind altering effects were taking full effect as more and more were leaning more than they normally do. It's always funny to see fans air guitar. I thought that died off in the 80's. Well it's still here; alive and kicking. I didn't understand the song words, but people were singing along. I thought you only did that at when Michael Bublé showed up.
The "pit" was their in full security mode. The part I love, is knowing I can stand between the crowd and the stage and get up close to the action. I saw a sign that read. "NEXT TIME YOUR OUT!" I gather this is for the yellow jackets who don't have to open their limited word vocabulary. It's all there, In black and white. So presumably, if you lark about, you get these 4 pre written words yelled at you. Not sure what happens next?
Panties were being thrown too, I guess that's better than beer cans. I'm not sure why someone would throw away a good pair of underwear. It's not like they know where they came from. But then again, this isn't a place to bring your granny out. This is for demons. This is fuelled by hairy chested Jean cut offs. So if you do see a ballot box and you drop your slip in the "too loud" box. Go home, you're not welcome. To the rest; Play on and play it loud!
Heath Cox. Editor. Intouch.news
Passion: Some regard this as what Karl Benz invented when he first decided that it was time to ditch the horse and cart and go for a new method of transport. Yes, the steam engine was an amazing achievement, but it proved to be too cumbersome and impractical. The people that mattered best decided that they continue their lives on trains and ships. The triple expansion was no match for what is now mans “greatest invention”.
Born unto us, or rather created, the hallowed internal combustion engine . I’m sure when Karl was writing out his patent forms; he would have never envisioned what he would be letting himself in for. Take some kerosene, some air, put it under pressure and there you have it. Now there have been many variations since his idea took hold. Everything from the 2 stroke to the Wankel. When you think about it, this little idea sparked such a revolution that is so strong today; we just can’t comprehend the amplitude of it. NASCAR, Formula one, monster trucks, drag racing, Le Mans, hyper cars, minicabs, group B Racing, Police interceptor movies, and the list is endless. They all have one thing in common. Mans need to fill the void between marriage and a new engine hoist. It is an interesting time we live in as the world is changing. We are now being faced with Electric cars, hybrids, gas power, solar, even wind. Mr. Fusion may not be that far off. Thing is though, no self-respecting petrol head will ~McQueen down Hollywood boulevard in an Electric Datsun.
There is something about the internal combustion engine that draws crowds in their thousands. Club rallies, car collectors and Concours d'Elegance. They all love cars, they all love the point where you push that magic little red button and listen to the cylinders comes to life. I don’t think those at Pebble beach would be waking up at dawn to see an array of finely polished Priuses. Millions upon millions of us take for granted what Karl has done for us. Yet we are now mining Lithium to change the world. I’m sorry, but when you’re taking resources from the earth by the tonnes to save the planet, well you’re not really, you’re just changing the basic dynamics of how were going to get from A to B. As long as there is a market for the V8 Mustang or a V10 R8. We will continue to go there. Power and speed is what drives us. Yes you can honk at the maniac in front of you that is doing a hundred and twenty miles an hour. But we all know it’s what we want in our lives.
Calgary’s 2016 World of Wheels is testament to all things’ that pray “suck squeeze bang blow”. The fire breathing dragons on display here are a testament to those who have spent countless hours scraping, sanding, tuning, grinding and polishing. Ah yes, the meat of a man’s heart. The Restoration; Ask a man to do laundry, he will look at you like you just grown a wart out of your forehead. The same question, but in auto-mechanical form, well, and then you have it. Man’s love of all things aluminum, cast iron and leather cannot be tarnished by the thought of home economics.
Standing over at the Ford stand, I was introduced to a carbon copy of the infamous 427 Cobra. The designer the late Mr Shelby insane's need for speed brought UK’s motorways to its knees.
Bureaucrats and lobbyists were having none of this on their roads. No…No…No. Thus the 70-MPH speed limit was born. Big thank you to the gentlemen who allowed me over the rail and let my lens do the talking, also a big thank you to Mr. Shelley. I should have asked for his last name. He was kind enough to allow me entry and let my brain compute at all the work that went on to making this show a success that it has become.
You know, I love the sound of an XJ singing at 5000 rpm. Who doesn’t? It brings us all together, it creates smiles and people love that. Look at the crowd. They all took their Ford’s and Chevy’s to look at other Fords and Chevy’s. Ask anyone here if they would like to own and drive a 68 Charger or a 38 Ford. Of course!
I hope the internal combustion engine is here to stay for my life time, my kids and their kids. Because when the world changes back to steam, the passion will have gone.
Heath, Editor InTouch. NEWS
Calgary has its own history you know, those that paid attention in social studies class would know that the name of our great city didn’t start with the namesake from Scotland. If only the Colonel of the North West Mounted Police had not stopped for the night, we would have probably never been born. Whiskey Traders would have been able to roam free and the warm Chinook winds would have probably have been missed. Maybe, Leo would have something to write about.
Just think, when Guy Weadick and his wife rolled into town, Guy thought, uhm, this is a good place to have steer races. Add a few bull riding events some chuck wagons and voila. The greatest show on earth is now a part of our annual diet.
We just love the Stampede. It’s not just us prairie types you know, People come from all over the world to see what we get up too. Lammle's western duds work overtime, just so we can look the part and tip our ten gallons and cup “howdie” to the tourists and competitors alike. The stampede grounds are not just limited to horses and photo booths, it’s a 365 a year fun fest, with everything ranging from Hockey games to ACDC Concerts. If there is an Expo of sales, then this is the place to find it.
The Stampede Corral for example has hosted so many events, it would take me the best part of my day just to list just a few. The early 80’s saw Stu Hart and his band of whacky wrestlers, commentated by the ever faithful Ed Whalen. There were ice skating competitions, tennis games, concerts. You name it, the Corral hosted it. This old girl is not finished yet. I hope to see this play out for many years to come.
So there I was, shooting for the boat and outdoors show when I decided enough was enough and headed out. Before leaving I stumbled upon the Cheerleaders Competition. Standing in the arena I was not sure if this event was worth my time. Then the kids come out and showcased their moves with the precision of a Military guard. I have to be honest they were adorable. Thinking back to the time when I was 12, all I wanted to do was sneak a dollar from my mothers purse and buy some chocolate bars. These kids were full on amazing. The batteries were on full charge and the enthusiasm from the parents were equally devoted. My hour with the kids was the best part of my day. You can keep the Marina and the sea going vessels, my money was on the kids.
I know the educators of the day tell us everyone is a winner, these kids were proof of that.
Heath Cox - Editor InTouch.NEWS
Happy Chinese New Year -
When Captain Kirk used his thrusters to slingshot around the sun to save a couple of whales, I would have hoped he had the time to go to the San Francisco Marina District. He would of course wander at the boats in the harbour and marvel at how people in the 20th Century were able to build such lovely craft. Of course he would have been depressed by his big eared colleague as he would think this may not be logical. Time warp 30 odd years, forward. Tiberius and his trusty crew would now be long gone in their retirement and we would be back in the now 21st Century, wondering how to make Transparent Aluminum. Knowing that by then they would have figured out how to trade goods without money, I am left wondering what point in our timeline does this stop and we all work for the collective good. Sounds like futuristic communism.
So as we stand now, if you want a nice piece of cod, all you need to do is pop down to your local Save On and wait in line at the automated checkout. Go back home and throw it on the grill. Job done. It cost you pennies.
However, there is another way. Your first employment here is to advise your better half that your joint account will be dragged down by huge monthly payments in order to furnish man’s ability to beat his chest again. The hunter gatherer is back. Courtesy of companies, like Lund or Bass Pro Shops. So you decide that yes, you would like to go hunt some smelly gills yourself. The sales crew working overtime in there Wranglers and silly boots are just ringing tills and filling out forms to the Glamper’s and red necks who blindly thought that this is a good idea. So let me think about this, I can buy a piece for myself and cook it. Or I can go to the nearest Original Joes and order up a fish and chips bowl for about $20.
Or, ……. I can visit a number of lakes and seas and get my own. First you need a fishing rod and reels and string and floatie bits and boxes and worms and knives and learn the know-how on figuring out how to put this all together. Oh, You could just walk down to the dock, but people will shout at you, so you need a boat. Not just any boat, you need a proper one, with funny seats and spare coats and fish finders with outdoor props and more outdoor props. Well, a baby one that looks like something international rescue would use if you found yourself upside down. All the gear you just bought is now running into the hundreds. With the addition of the boat and all its Christmas trimmings, Savings and loan companies are now working overtime to make sure you can afford the interest payments. Oh wait, its getting better. All these things are heavy, so you need something to carry them all in. Seeing as you just can’t carry a 21 foot boat on your back, you need a transportation transfer device. Of Course I am now talking about a truck. Yes sure you could borrow your friends. That would be “once” . After that, you need to hook up with your local Ford dealer and add another F150 to the roads. I know you have a minivan to tow your kids about, but no one pulls a boat with one. That’s just wrong. So, you have your kit, your boat, something to tow it in and were set. Not really. Now after spending 11 million on your unused toys, you’re still no closer in convincing fish to jump out at you. Now you need a license. If you’re on a lake in the middle of well, nowhere, you will probably have to throw it back. There are rules you know. So the best thing to do is take your new fangled gear to sea. Then you can marvel at the endless lists of things you can play with. Of course, if you want to sail beyond the Juan de Fuca straight, and play Captain Bird's eye, you need to stop off at the nearest Marine Dollar store and have everything converted to sea water. After many many many more peso's, you have to now buy a sea license. This idea of just buying local is getting more appealing. Spock would simply say, “This isn’t logical Jim”.
It just isn’t.
Heath Cox - Editor Intouch.NEWS
An Hour; what’s in an hour. Well that’s about the time it takes to fly from Calgary to Vancouver. Or driving to work in rush hour, or waiting in line at the post office. All these things are the norm these days. From the time the lunch bell rings to when you’re called back to the pig pen you added one hour to your life. Sometimes you wish for your day to end, but doing so empties your life bank account just that little bit more. I was at a hospice once, only to see a sad old man hanging onto the side of his bed knowing that he was probably wishing he had just a few more hours. Sadly he never made it through the night. This little thought is quite upsetting really. We all rush about getting things for our little wooden boxes, not knowing that these hours we use up are actually going against us. Hours are bit like wheels, every time you drive your car, each turn of the tire takes a bit of its life away. You wouldn’t notice one or a hundred, but put them all together and before you know it, you’re off to the store to buy more. So where am I going with this. Well on Friday I took an hour out of my life and spent it at the TEDx Talks in Canmore. The staff were polite and welcoming, all working like honey bees. They all knew what to do and where everything went, yet they quietly went about doing it without fuss or noise.
There, I was introduced to what Canadians do best. With a pleasant smile and welcoming nod, they propped me into the arena and allowed me to get on with my work. Sitting near the back I witnessed the musical talents of Amelie Patterson and Kyle Pullan. There are times when you can listen to people sing and your mind can wonder off with itself. Amelie was one of these musicians that were able to do that to you. Her voice took my mind and allowed it to run off and forget about life’s problems.
Jessica Puurunen and Dr. Hugh Notman were the only two speakers I had the pleasure of listening too. Smart, funny, entertaining and confident. Jessica a High School Biology teacher lost me at the petri dish. Maybe I should have spent more time paying attention in high school. How this lady manages to keep her students in check and enthusiastic is beyond me. That’s the amazing part of being a teacher. They’re in my mind, the hardest working people, apart from a barista at a Starbucks. Off course I’m kidding.
As a teacher, your job is to turn kids into smart kids. That is harder than it sounds. No one can make you want to learn, but Jessica does it with passion and compassion.
Dr. Hugh Notman had fifteen minutes to talk to the select few about his knowledge in biological anthropology. I often wonder what goes through people’s minds in kindergarten. I grew up wanting to be Millionaire. But at 6 I thought a millionaire was a pilot. I’m sure when he was 6, he probably wanted to be a fireman or a biological anthropologist. Who knows? All I know is that he is way smarter than I, but he wasn’t there to boast, he is just a man who has knowledge for all things evolutionary and he wanted to share.
Well that was my hour, After Dr Hugh left the stage it was time for a break and the bathroom line had begun. For me it was time to leave. So I turned over my Jeep and headed home. Thus slowly reducing the time left on my tyres. Drive to Calgary from Canmore you say. Sure, only takes an hour.
Thank you to all At Tedx Talks for allowing me into your world.
Heath Cox - Editor InTouch.NEWS