Driven 2016

So, what you have here Is an event where those who didn't make it on to the Fast and furious set, made their own up and decided to spend oodles of cash souping up generic brands from the sublime to the ridiculous.  OK! So your 19 and you want to a "ludicrous speed button" on your dash board.  If you’re lucky enough to have the kind of pesos to buy one already made especially for you, i.e.; Lamborghini or Ferrari then you are set.  If you are not amoungst the coveted 1%'rs, you do the next best thing.  Go on Kijiji, buy an old Honda Civic and beg, borrow or steel the $100,000 you need to make it look somewhat decent.  Most of the guys there were doing their best to have their "look at me moment", but the reality is.  It’s all a bit faff.  Maybe I'm too old, but I can remember the time I souped up my 1972 Ford Cortina GT, only to have it blow up in my face one to many times.  After replacing three transmissions and one too many clutches and starter motors, The game for me was over.  You try telling these kids that though, this is their passion.  So it's a bit pointless telling them that what they are doing is a bit silly.  I don't have too.  The parent in them in ohhh 20 years will be doing all the talking.  Dad's just don't get it.  Yes well do actually! we all did it, when we were your age in fact.  Thing is, we just grew up.  Just because Paul Walker (Rest in Peace) did it, that doesn't mean that was the beginning.  This started many many years before that.  So I may put the boy racers down a bit, but I am allowed.  I was one.

So, changing to 2nd gear.  Speaking to the owner of a Lamborghini, which incidentally he looked like he was about 25.  So either he has rich parents or sold a .COM business when he was 12.  It doesn't matter, jealously is not in my character.  I was curious as to why he told me he always drives the speed limit.  I'm not sure if he was being honest or careful.  Thing is, if you are buying a Lamborghini and only want to drive the speed limit! What’s the point, you may as well just get a "Car to Go" membership.

Personally I think a little bullshit fell out of his mouth.  But that's OK.  It doesn't matter.  The only thing that matters here were the kids, their toys and what they achieved.  It’s really something to be proud of.  So, after raking you all over the coals, just know that I was there once and I know the feeling. Just remember to take it easy and drive the speed Limit, just Like Mr Lambo............

Heath Cox Editor Intouch.NEWS

Ford World Women's Curling Championship 2016

2016 Calgary International Auto & Truck Show

How do you sum up the numbers and come up with the the correct answer, when it comes to mans favorite pastime. Well, for some of us it does include ball bearings.  Not the kind you press into a shotgun casing, but ones used in a wheel hub assembly or a universal joint.  Our love of cars continues, with an all out ensemble of fenders from Ford's to Ferrari's.

OK! so the vast majority now all seem to look the same, from plastic dashboards to headlights, car companies now seem to swap parts with each other and make it seem new and improved. Gone are the days, when you had to push a button to make it work.  It's all storks and sticks. Men love to push and turn buttons. Have you ever seen anything more sexier than a dashboard on a series one E type. Exactly! ...  So we have a few differences from last year, but on the whole nothing has changed.  We see the same cute girls splashing out quip's about perfect weight distribution and turbo lag reduction.  The reality is, they couldn't explain what torque is anymore than I could, or you could for that matter. Maybe It just sounds better coming from a size two "super" model.  I was somewhat impressed with the Ford driving simulator. It was a bit over the top and unnecessary, but the kids enjoyed being Tom Petty for 5 minutes.

Everything here seems to trundle along like we're all stuck in a playground zone.  Every Acura looks the same as every other Acura. Except maybe some have a fatter ass than others.  Things were becoming as interesting as a rented apartment, that was until we got to the Aston Martin - Bentley arena.  There is something about sitting in one of these that makes you feel uberly important.  Yes I have leather seats in my car, but the seats in a Bentley!!! You have just entered a world where few will have the pleasure of the real ultimate driving machine.

It's like sitting in a channel handbag!  The interior is a place that transforms you and instantly turns you into a one percenter.  It's like putting on a Tom Ford.  You feel smarter, you look smarter, suddenly everyone is looking at you.  It's the same with the Aston.  Once inside, clutching that thick carbon laced steering wheel, your whispered off to a place of grandeur.  After many thank you's and hand shaking, we took ourselves to, well. What else, of course.  The house of Mr Balboni's home turf.  Lamborghini.  Yes they were big and brash, but I have to be honest, the Lamborghini's that I grew up with had no windows, just cat flaps with a stick shift.  These were my pin up's.  I somehow can't see myself putting up an Aventador on my wall.  Maybe I'm well past the sell by date on wall posters, but the lambo's of today seem to have lost that bedroom image.  I know they cost more than most second homes and yes they still have those silly doors, but I look back at the Aston and I'm sold every time.  When the brand manager of Rolls Royce invited us in.  We clocked eyes on the Phantom and thought, no;  there is no way we will ever get this close.  Well, as it happens, we did.  Just when you thought it was safe to get back in the water, as they say, this 20 foot monster steps in. 

Lord in heaven, as a motor car this is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.  Mercedes and Audi.  You may as well pack up your suitcase right now and head back to fatherland.  OK, so BMW took hold of Britain's most prized possession and welded together the strongest aluminum body in the automotive world, thanks for that at the very least.  After that the Brits took over and did what they do best.  Apart from drinking lots of tea and having to find new Careers since Maggy closed down all the pits.  The Brits still have the talent to put together, what is simply the finest car money can buy.  Options are endless.  So, If you have deep pockets,  this is where you stop looking and place your order.  So to are the Ferrari's. I have to be honest here too,  the Ferrari's of today do look amazing, but they seem to have lost that 60's sex appeal.  Think about it.  There is nothing sexier than a testarossa or a P4/5. I'm not talking about the square place mat you find in Miami vice, I'm dating back to the world when designers used Marilyn Monroe as inspiration, not a Mach 2 jet fighter.   The worlds designers now have moved on to aerospace technology and materials from Mars.  It's seems that that molds used to make the DB5 are now extinct. While I am happy to see companies like Eagle have a bash.  It saddens me that the rest of the world doesn't share the same opinion.  The mood now is cup holders and hockey bags. You just know when your best friend gets married and his wife punches out a couple of kids, the minivan is where your heading.  What a shame that is!  We still have lots of somewhat attractive looking cars out there, but Dodge thought, I know, let's take away his manhood and offer up something so sad, it makes you feel you had a level 10 lobotomy.  Let me put it this way, when I was 9. We had 6 in our family, we got by with a rover P5. "And we had a dog".  We went all over Europe.  Yes we also had cup holders.  

I guess we have one saving grace. I once saw a 12 year old putting her soccer shoes into the back of a drop dead sexy black continental GT.  I agree not everyone can afford one which is a shame but we should have more options available to us.

So, moving on.  There we were, looking at what I call Gods creation.  The absolute best in engineering to date. If allowed we should have been on hands and knees, as we are certainly not worthy of the P1. Some of the worlds best brains got together and produced the finest wine and carbon fiber soufflé man has ever made.  So why did this 12 year old beside me waffle on about the prancing horse and how much better they are.  Why, well cause he is 12 and knows only two things, how to play call of duty at home and how to tell people at school how good he is at call of duty. Oh the joys of having teenagers! They know everything.  So. People of Fiat, Acura and Honda.  When you next decide to design a car, think of Dita Von Tess, not a dinner plate.  I know which one can go through the air faster, but I know what I would rather look at.

Heath Cox.  Editor  intouch.NEWS


Pastry Chef Showcase 2016

Sunday evening,

The time, where you cozy up upon your lazy boy, grab the switchy box and settle into a night loitering between and Netflix, Crackle and You-tube.  As you ditched your cable, the up and down buttons on your remote have become pretty much obsolete.  Now you’re fondling genre’s like it’s 1979. 

 As of this moment, people across this province are calculating their losses and uploading Skidoos on Kijiji.

So were on a downturn, as you still have enough for Spotify and a parking spot.  You are one of the lucky ones so far.  Not to worry, we have all seen this before, so when the Economy tanks, which it has, there is only one way for it to go now.  So be patient.  Once all the big guns have let everyone go, they will be bringing them back and we all will bask in wakesetters again. 

So Google just sent you a little note telling you to put your slippers away, grab your trilby and head on over to Heritage park for the Pastry Chef Showcase 2016.  Time to put your culinary gear into 1st and prep your palette with the finest breads and pastries’ on offer. 

Some of Canada’s best will be on the culinary dance floor, doing the tango with butter knives and cookie slicers to create art in real life.  This is what dreams are made of.  The wine and cheese displays were plentiful, so tuck in, but leave room for the creations coming to life before you. 

To Start with we have the Ranchman’s club served up a delicate Apple caramel tower, a sautéed apple with an orange mascarpone filling, garnished with an apple mousse and a toffee Gelee spoon.

The second dish on the list was an upside down pineapple cake drizzled in olive oil, coupled with a honey yogurt mousse and served with Rosemary guava gelato.  It was delicious. 

Of course there had to be a winner.  This was created by Melissa Burt, Rebbekka Lenz, Elynne Poisson and Peter Nowicki.  Together they enveloped the Mayor Lemon vanilla bean mousse, a basil sponge on top of Streusel cookie.

Hotel arts offered up a milk chocolate mousse, which was to die for.  As for the number of plates 300 was not enough for the 45 minute event.

The winners enjoyed a $1500 win to share amongst themselves. 

All this for the benefit for our friends with developmental disabilities.  Thank you L’Arche Calgary, for putting together this wonderful event.  I thought I was quite happy with my slippers and 46 flat screen.  Next time, I will bring friends.  Thank you to Heritage Park for the venue and a big thank you to all the sponsors.  In the middle of this downturn, it’s nice to see sponsorships still willing to lend an offer of support. 


Heath Cox Editor InTouch.NEWS

32nd Annual Rose Bowl Synchronized Skating

If you ever find yourself sitting next to someone wearing an Alexander McQueen cropped sweater clutching a Salvatore Ferragamo purse, You will be forgiven for thinking their Maybach is parked in the basement of neiman marcus. It isn’t, It's waiting outside with the AC on full Sub Zero mode.

While Geeves is patiently waiting for you, he will probably checking his own stock quotes that he “overheard” from your Tech insider husband. While Mr. "Slip and slide", sits on board his Challenger 800, awaiting for take off clearance to his secret second home.  Your still wondering why Walmart sells discount DVD’s.

For Nikos Koulis earring’s? ask your local Bergdorf Goodman's, for skates? Go to Sport Check.
There were no pre-Madonna’s at the arena this evening, just hard working mothers, sisters, aunts, teens and daughters. They Quietly slipped on their handmade lycra two piece suits and Riedell skates.  Showing off to the generous few who braved the minus 10’s and pirouetted their way to a winning cup.

This was the 32nd Annual Rose Bowl event.

Calgary’s CSSC hosts this year’s Synchronized Skating competition. For us, Centre ice wasn’t exactly being front and centre of the Stanley cup, but as  photographer's, it was an interesting event.

To me, watching the older ladies skate was more impressive than the teenagers.  I mean, teenagers are invincible. At 17, you can run up a mountain backward, you can climb multi story buildings eating a cheeseburger. When you’re on the late side of 50, skating in tandem with 8 other’s isn’t easy and well, even at 48 that seems like more than I can do.

Ok, so they were slow and lethargic. But seeing as most ladies this age are trading in high heels for slippers, the forefront on baby boomers are crochet patterns, not a change foot spin. So I say Cudo’s to these ladies.

If you want to be impressed, stay for the first round, but endure for the talents that bused in from as far as Edmonton and further. Well that’s commitment. If you stayed at home and watched your discount DVD, well you missed out.

Heath Cox.  Editor.  InTouch.NEWS


Calgary European Film Festival - Day 3

Dear sir or Madam
Think about this for a minute, you have one cup of sugar, two cups of flour and a slab of butter. What does that make? Well if you think about it, just about anything you want it too. When I was a child, this was the recipe for making crumble. Im sure a lot of recipes have changed over the years, but one could argue the same about how to make the perfect pastry. Your grandmother had recipes written on pieces of cardboard found all over the pantry. There was no internet in those dark days of knob and tube, no 24 hour cooking show. If someone on your block had a TV, they went straight to the top of your Christmas card list. You didn’t find Blanche Middleton`s homemade gooseberry pie, on a show dedicated to some back street café on the food network.
So, fast forward your VCR 50 years and you have what has now become, the intergalactic hub of everything you need to know on Youtube. Want a new watch or a pair of boots, someone will write about it. Need to know how to get part no 243 (b) into the flange on a oil spring weighted metal case bracket, Google will tell you .
There is no need for community college anymore, no need to spend hours longing for the half time bell to ring. All you need is a means to a keyboard and your set. So, now. Want to know what the Calgary European film festival is all about?. Well, when was the last time you opened your local newspaper to the entertainment section? Well, ok if your sitting alone at MacDonald's and the free paper is on hand, you will reach for your egg McMuffin. and peruse through your free carbon printed nonsense and by the time you reached your 4th full page ad on a new 0%, no money down, free payments for a year hybrid, you would have texted four of your friends, checked your email twice and uploaded some free app because by page 23, your distraction level hit peaks not seen since your first hit of Ritalin.
So, check your tablet for wait times, take the bus down to the Globe on 8th Ave, ask for Mariet and she will tell you all about what, is in all honesty, the best thing to come out of Romania since Vlad the Impaler met his untimely, and some what deserving death. My guess is the Turks had quite enough of him thank you very much.
This year has seen some amazing films come to life, “Aferim” for example, when did monochrome come back to life. Head over to Germany and “Head full of Money” is in full tilt. Who would have made a film about a Vet suffering with Alzheimer's.
On Saturday we had the viewing pleasure of Markus Imhoof’s film “More than Honey”. The wonderful cinema-photography has come to life about the strange disappearance of honey bees. You have to see where this journey goes.
Then we had “Fair Play” . Andrea Sedláčková directed the story about the life of a young sprinter by the name of Anna, not wanting a sporting life under the influence of Steroids, she refuses, just watch at the end result. this is going to shock and alarm you.
The film fest is full of new ideas. Take the time in your weekend schedule while there is still time and go see one of the great marvels in your neighborhood.
Remember,The kardashians may have 12 zillion friends of twittlebook, but having Class. that’s the European film fest for you. now write these films down on the back of your puffed wheat cereal box, --- wait !!
They`re for your grandkids to read.

Heath Cox - Editor InTouch.NEWS