The Calgary Boat and Sportsmen's Show

Heath Cox - CBAFS-01-.jpg

When Captain Kirk used his thrusters to slingshot around the sun to save a couple of whales, I would have hoped he had the time to go to the San Francisco Marina District.  He would of course wander at the boats in the harbour and marvel at how people in the 20th Century were able to build such lovely craft. Of course he would have been depressed by his big eared colleague as he would think this may not be logical.  Time warp 30 odd years, forward. Tiberius and his trusty crew would now be long gone in their retirement and we would be back in the now 21st Century, wondering how to make Transparent Aluminum.  Knowing that by then they would have figured out how to trade goods without money, I am left wondering what point in our timeline does this stop and we all work for the collective good.  Sounds like futuristic communism.

So as we stand now, if you want a nice piece of cod, all you need to do is pop down to your local Save On and wait in line at the automated checkout.   Go back home and throw it on the grill.  Job done.  It cost you pennies.

However, there is another way.  Your first employment here is to advise your better half that your joint account will be dragged down by huge monthly payments in order to furnish man’s ability to beat his chest again.  The hunter gatherer is back.  Courtesy of companies, like Lund or Bass Pro Shops.  So you decide that yes, you would like to go hunt some smelly gills yourself.  The sales crew working overtime in there Wranglers and silly boots are just ringing tills and filling out forms to the Glamper’s and red necks who blindly thought that this is a good idea.  So let me think about this, I can buy a piece for myself and cook it.  Or I can go to the nearest Original Joes and order up a fish and chips bowl for about $20.

Or, …….  I can visit a number of lakes and seas and get my own.  First you need a fishing rod and reels and string and floatie bits and boxes and worms and knives and learn the know-how on figuring out how to put this all together.  Oh,  You could just walk down to the dock, but people will shout at you, so you need a boat.  Not just any boat, you need a proper one, with funny seats and spare coats and fish finders with outdoor props and more outdoor props.  Well, a baby one that looks like something international rescue would use if you found yourself upside down.  All the gear you just bought is now running into the hundreds.  With the addition of the boat and all its Christmas trimmings, Savings and loan companies are now working overtime to make sure you can afford the interest payments.  Oh wait, its getting better.  All these things are heavy, so you need something to carry them all in.  Seeing as you just can’t carry a 21 foot boat on your back, you need a transportation transfer device.  Of Course I am now talking about a truck.  Yes sure you could borrow your friends.  That would be “once” .   After that, you need to hook up with your local Ford dealer and add another F150 to the roads.  I know you have a minivan to tow your kids about, but no one pulls a boat with one.  That’s just wrong.   So, you have your kit, your boat, something to tow it in and were set.  Not really.  Now after spending 11 million on your unused toys, you’re still no closer in convincing fish to jump out at you.  Now you need a license.  If you’re on a lake in the middle of well, nowhere, you will probably have to throw it back.  There are rules you know.  So the best thing to do is take your new fangled gear to sea.  Then you can marvel at the endless lists of things you can play with.  Of course, if you want to sail beyond the Juan de Fuca straight, and play Captain Bird's eye, you need to stop off at the nearest Marine Dollar store and have everything converted to sea water.  After many many many more peso's, you have to now buy a sea license.  This idea of just buying local is getting more appealing.  Spock would simply say,  “This isn’t logical Jim”.


It just isn’t.

Heath Cox - Editor Intouch.NEWS